I hate the hype surrounding Mother’s Day presents. The invitation is to spoil mum and to spoil mum you need to spend, spend, spend. It seems to me that Mother’s Day has become, like everything else, a bit of a pissing contest regarding buying the biggest, most expensive or extravagant presents and like most families we can’t afford to part with hundreds of dollars on fancy shit that I don’t need.
It also seems to me that Mother’s Day is an invitation to treat all mothers, regardless of age, like doddering old nana’s.
You don’t think so? Have another look at those ads. Many of the ads on telly right now are pushing gifts that might be suitable for my mother, but nothing that grabs my attention, especially the damn music compilation cd’s. I mean seriously! Three CD + bonus DVD packs of Human Nature? Damien Leath sings the hits of the 60’s & 70’s? Come on! I was a teen of the 80’s. Give me Gun’s n Roses or Aerosmith or Bon Jovi for fucks sake!
Or how about the choices of suitable Mother’s Day gift DVD’s as displayed in the latest store catalogues. Tell me Mr Lets-commercialise-the-absolute-crap-out-of-every-occasion, do I look old enough to be the kind of person who would appreciate Elvis or Jerry Lewis movies as a gift just because they have a bit of pink wrapping on them? *rolls eyes* Get your goddam act together commercialising bastard.
While we are questioning the wisdom of Mr Lets-commercialise-everything, I feel compelled to ask exactly how many dressing gowns or fluffy slippers does he think mums need? And do they all HAVE to have hearts or flowers or cutesy animal prints all over them? What about those of us are who aren’t fluffy, fuzzy, cutesy flowered/animal/heart loving types? Do they even make PLAIN coloured dressing gowns these days?
The question I’d most like answered though is how giving mum’s MORE kitchen appliances makes their lives better? Do I really need more options for how to slave cook for my family? Do I really need another appliance to clean, take up space in my cupboards and lose the electrical cord for?
Isn’t the day about showing appreciation to mothers? About our demon spawn children getting down on their knees to worship us thanking us for the affection and care that we show them by allowing them to live, eat and sleep in our homes on a daily basis?
Give me a break!
No really.
That’s what I want for Mother’s Day.
A break.
From people fussing, whining and whinging at me. From people asking me stupid questions that they already know the answers to. From people wanting stuff and shit and stuff. From being expected to make decisions and having to push and prod everyone around me to try to get anything done, then giving up in disgust to do everything myself.
But even the idea of giving mums a break from the drudgery of cooking and cleaning for their family is being touted as opportunity to commercialise and spend up big. It would seem they really think that chucking in chocolate ice cream is going to get more people to eat KFC? If I want some fatty rubber I’ll pour a bottle of oil over a tyre thank you very much. Your puny bucket of ice cream ain’t gonna suck me in Colonel.
Honestly people, if you are going to treat mum to a meal she doesn’t have to cook, and are inclined to fork out money to do so, take her to a real restaurant.
Me, I’d be happy for someone else to cook. Then let me eat in peace. Before my food goes cold because you are bitching that you want something else. That is my idea of mommy bliss. Now if I was to also be able to walk out into the kitchen after my still warm meal and find that someone else had stacked the dishwasher and wiped down the bench, I’d be ecstatic in my blissfulness.
And while we’re going, how about someone else do all the freakin ironing for a change? It’s not like it’s even my clothes! 
