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What’s my story? September 12, 2008

Posted by Mistress B in Family, Funny Stuff, Hubby, Marriage, Meme's, Ramblings, Relationships.
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Today is my 10th Wedding Anniversary.

Quite some time ago now the lovely Trish from My Little Drummer Boys shared her wedding story and asked her readers what their stories are – I thought that how PSLS and I met and our wedding would be a good story to share for my anniversary.

PSLS, Me and our wedding party.

PSLS, Me and our wedding party.

(You’ll have to forgive the quality of my pics – my scanner isn’t working so I had to take photo’s of my photo’s to get the onto the pc)

Mine is a story of three’s.

Hubby and I met one winter afternoon at softball. I had moved back to town with Miss Lou about 8 months earlier after running away from the freak ex and a girlfriend had invited me to play on her softball team. He was on a different team, but we got to chatting one afternoon while I was helping in the canteen at the sports ground. Chatting led to joking, joking led to flirting and next thing I knew he was threatening me with tomato sauce bottles and trying to throw me into a bin. What a story he’ll be able to tell our grandchildren “oh I just found your grandmother lying around in a garbage bin one day covered in tomato sauce like a street bum………”

After I finished up my canteen duties, we spent the rest of the afternoon between games playing soccer with some kids and chatting. At the end of the afternoon my girlfriend was hinting at him to drive me home, but he didn’t take the hint and I thought I would maybe see him again the next week.

About three hours later I get a phone call. A friend of his had called a friend of mine to ask if she could ring me to ask for my phone number. Then the friend rang me to ask for my address to give to ‘someone’. Needless to say I was very bemused. Not five minutes later there was a knock at my front door.

By this stage I had picked up Miss Lou from mum’s. She was 16 months old and on the go. As I answered the front door she came toddling out the living room door and up the hall behind me. He had no idea I had a kid. He went white. You could see the indecision on his face for a moment then he gathered himself and stepped inside. We sat and talked for hours. He kissed me. It was nice.

The third time he came to visit me he told me that he loved me. I bolted, literally, to the other side of the room. The idea, after everything I’d been through with the freak ex, of ‘love’ scared the shit out of me. But he didn’t ask for anything (though he did tell me later that he was worried I was going to throw him out for a few minutes). He had apparently already made up his mind that I was “the one” and he was content to wait.

Three weeks after we met, he showed up one weekend and just never went home. We never discussed moving in or anything, he just never went back home. I wasn’t sure, but I was also still being stalked by the freak at this stage so it was very comforting to have someone steady, stable and reliable around. It didn’t take me long to realise that my heart was safe with this man.

Three months after we met, I threw him a birthday party. I had invited about 30 of our family and friends. He stands up and while thanking everyone for coming he announces that we are getting married. We’d never discussed it and I spent the rest of the night sitting with my mouth gaping open while people congratulated us.

We had CJ 13 months later. And along the way we moved three times, got custody sorted out over Miss Lou, reconnected with hubby’s dad, separated briefly once, sorted ourselves out and were building a life together.

Three years (and nearly three months) after we met we got married.

We had a simple backyard wedding with a celebrant presiding and about 60 of our family and friends in attendance. CJ and Miss Lou had gorgeous little gold dresses and walked me down the aisle. Seeing as how both our families weren’t being terribly involved, some of my friends and the celebrant the helped to set up the tables/chairs/place settings and the best man’s family cooked the BBQ. Only about half my decorations were put up, we simply ran out of time and manpower.

And the rain didn’t help.

For most of the week before our wedding it BUCKETED down. Walking through our backyard meant sinking in mud up to your ankles. Some quick thinking resulted in my walking down a blue tarp aisle escorted by my gorgeous girls to the tune of Shania Twain’s song “Still The One“.

Me and Miss Lou on the blue tarp aisle

My gorgeous girls however turned into screaming banshees as soon as the camera’s came out. Nearly every. single. photo. with them in it shows one or both of them screaming their freakin’ tiny little lungs out.

See screaming! and frowning!

Our adventures with the mud weren’t finished once the ceremony was over either. As we all sat down to eat after returning from photo’s our chairs sank a few inches into the ground. It was like sitting on kid sized chairs at the big table. We ended up with a mud trail from the back door through our house to the toilet. Took us a month to get our living room carpet to look clean again!

And my father in law. god smite love him! He was blind drunk by the time we got back from our photo’s. My step mother in law was making a wedding video for us and was so embarrassed by him that she edited him out of the ENTIRE tape. Not that I blame her. He made a drunken speech that everyone just smiled and nodded at cos he was rambling and we couldn’t understand a word. He tried to hit on my mother in law (They’d been divorced for like 20 years!), then tried to hit on my maid of honour (by trying to stick his tongue down her throat EWWW!), picked a fight with my step mother in law then threw up behind the marquee before we finally managed to convince him to go back to the motel and call it a night.

Rose (PSLS's Step mum) and Mal (his dad) with us.

Rose (his step mum) and Mal (his dad) with us

Not that his conduct bothered us too much – at least he was there happily. My mother was there but refusing to talk to me while his mother and step father showed up late in their house clothes and were making a point of keeping themselves to themselves.

My sis, nice bro, Mum, druggo bro, us and Dad

My sis, nice bro, Mum, druggo bro, us and Dad

We weren’t having a honeymoon. We didn’t even go to a motel, we didn’t farm our girls out and we were putting the best man and maid of honour up for the night.

You can imagine our giggles when, after everyone else had gone home and we were lying in bed discussing  the night, we heard strange sounds coming from down the hall. Seems that the best man and maid of honour had taken quite a liking to each other and had decided to go at it.

The best man and maid of honour

The best man and maid of honour

And it turns out there was one last three…….. all three of our kids were with us at our wedding. I found out a couple of days later that I was 5 weeks pregnant with TJ. lol

So there you have it. Lots of mud, mayhem and other people getting laid.

Was it the wedding I imagined? Not by a long shot.

But you know, oddly enough, though it was shambolic and challenging, it was also simple, very us and we had a ball!

And do other people remember it? Absofreakinlutely! 😉 lol

I’ve had someone tell me it was the nicest wedding they’d ever been to despite the mud because it was just so us. It wasn’t perfect, it wasn’t quite what was planned, but the best of the situation was made and lots of laughs were had.

Bit like our marriage really. It’s not perfect, it’s not always what we planned, but we do try our hardest to make the best of things and have as many laughs along the way as we can.

We have to. We’ve been in some very rocky spots together with the issues that go with step-parenting,  parenting a special needs child, unsupportive family members and the demands of his job,  as well as some pretty dark places – a nasty custody battle, losing Miss Lou, a resulting bankruptcy, my cancer scare………….. I’ve been told that statistically 90% of couples who’ve been through some of what we have don’t make it.

But we have.

I don’t know why.

I could tell you that it’s because we are good mates, because we’ve learnt to communicate well, because we actually enjoy each others company (mostly), because we have common interests besides the children, because we do things away from each other as well,  because ‘We go together like rama lama lama ke ding a de dinga a dong remembered for ever like shoo bop shoo wadda wadda yipitty boom de boom Chang chang chang-it-ty chang  shoo-bop That’s the way it should be Wha oooh yeah!‘, but I don’t why. It could be any of those things or all of those things or none of them.

I do know that when we committed to each other we committed mind, body and soul, to have and to hold, from that day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish ’till death do us part and we meant it. That doesn’t mean that we haven’t want to bail at times, but we’ve stuck in there and out of that commitment has grown something far deeper and far richer than anything I could have imagined.

Love you baby.

Here’s to the next ten years.



1. widdleshamrock - September 12, 2008

Awwww !!!!

I have a tear in my eye !!!!

Happy anniversary to the both of you.


2. Musings ~ Resolving conflict « The musings of a green knee capping leprechaun - September 12, 2008

[…] Be sure to pop over to Mistress B. She is celebrating 10 years of marriage !!!! Congratulations B and […]

3. Anja - September 12, 2008

That is beautiful, truly beautiful. Thanks for sharing that.

4. Dina - September 12, 2008

Thank you so much for sharing!!! I loved reading that–the pretty stuff and the not so pretty.

I don’t think a “perfect” wedding is what matters. I think it’s better to have a memorable…FUNNY wedding. And more important than that is to have a good marriage.

I think it’s sad that you’ve had so much conflict in your life. But this is conflict that you have weathered together, and I think THAT is beautiful. I think it’s better than a marriage where the main conflict IS your relationship.

For some people, their spouse is their shelter in the storm. For other people, their spouse IS the storm.

You’ve been through some major shit, but in at least one way I think you’re very blessed.

5. writerchick - September 12, 2008

Bettina – what a great a very real story. Not like the movies, like real life with real people. I think it was a wonderful story and I’d be happy to have a wedding and mariiage like yours. You are a lucky woman.

6. wjcsydney - September 12, 2008

Bettina, that was truly beautiful!

7. Gemisht - September 12, 2008

Congratulations to both of you. And a wonderful story. Thanks so much for sharing with all of us. Hope you have a wonderful anniversary and many many more to come.

8. Darla @ UltraBeautyBoutique - September 12, 2008

Happy Anniversary! You are gorgeous in those pictures.

9. Jayne - September 12, 2008

Congrats and happy anniversary to you both 😀
Thanks for sharing the story of your wedding, it was perfect 🙂

10. Frogdancer - September 12, 2008

That’s lovely. Happy anniversary to you both.
That photo with the crying child was a classic!!)

11. Pure Evyl - September 12, 2008

Congrats on ten years. That’s quite an accomplishment these days.

12. Leigh - September 12, 2008

Happy Anniversary to you both!!

What a beautiful story, thanks for sharing it and the great pictures 🙂

13. Trish - September 12, 2008

congratulations on your 10th Anniversary Bettina and PSLS – that was beaut. I really enjoyed reading it and I am in awe of you.

14. planningqueen - September 12, 2008

I love hearing about how other couples got together and your wedding day seemed truly unique. Congratulations on 10 years!

15. river - September 12, 2008

Happy Anniversary. The photos are beautiful. I had to laugh out loud at the thought of you all sinking into the mud as you sat down. I’ve found that things often work out better when things don’t go exactly to plan.

16. frogpondsrock - September 12, 2008

that was lovely, thank you xx Kim

17. leechbabe - September 13, 2008

Aww I wish I could have been there, that sounds like a fabulous day.

Congratulations on the wedding anniversary and may there be many more of them.

18. kazoo - September 13, 2008

as a frequent lurker, i just had to write my first comment. On a night where i feel like walking away could be easier, your post inspires and reminds me of all the beauty and hard work that iis involved in sharing your life with the person you love! Congratulations on 10 years!

19. tiff - September 14, 2008

That was a great story!
Happy wedding anniversary, may there be many more.

20. Thank You « Dances to the beet of her own drum - September 14, 2008

[…] 2008 Thank you so much everyone for your congratulations and well wishes on mine and PSLS’s 10th Wedding Anniversary the other […]

21. jeanie - September 15, 2008

Congratulations on the 10 years – woo hoo!!!! Glad you got to enjoy (eventually) your day and your time together so far – here is to the next 50!

22. Naomi - September 15, 2008

Awwww… that’s a great story! 🙂

Congrats, the two of you. MWAH.

23. picklebums - September 18, 2008

what an awesome story!!!!! Happy Anniversary – even though I am a bit late!

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