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Why August 2, 2008

Posted by Mistress B in Funny Stuff, Hubby, Kids.

does everyone in my family think that the best way to wake me up is to stand over me and watch me?



It makes me wake with a start. I hate to be startled.

I makes me immediately  wonder what is wrong. Not the best way to start your day.

I just plain don’t like to be watched while I sleep! It’s creepy!

Don’t these ungrateful bastards my precious offspring and husband know by now that mum is best woken by any other method. Hell. I’d rather they had an all-out brawl in the living room, banged on drums, rang the phones or set off the fire alarm than stand at the side of the bed and watch me sleep till I awake with a jump!

Take last Saturday – TJ and his friend standing at the side of the bed. I awoke with a start, asked them what was wrong only to have my 9 year old tell me ‘Nothing – just wanted to let you know we were going for a bike ride’. hmmp. OK. But why did you have to bring your new friend that I barely know into my bedroom with you to WATCH ME SLEEP? Sheesh! I’m not stupid enough to expect you damn kids to let me have any privacy, but do you think your friends could wait OUTSIDE my bedroom door? Boundaries child, boundaries!

Take last Wednesday – CJ standing at the side of the bed. I awoke with a start, asked her what was wrong only to have my almost 12 year old tell me ‘Nothing’. ‘Well what are you doing then?’ says I. ‘Nothing’. Oh just farkin terrific. Not only did she wake me with a start but I was expected to be instantly alert enough to play the “Nothing” game. I think she must have taken pity on my befuddled state after a few minutes when she smugly announced that she got her periods. OK. What? You want me to be surprised after you’ve been acting like a bad hair day banshee on steriods at regular intervals for the past few months?  And BTW – watching me sleep in order to wake me up to play the “Nothing” game – just plain rude! Lets see you be that smug about your bodily functions in 3 months time when you want to go swimming missy!

Take this morning – PSLS standing at the side of the bed. I awoke with a start only to find the dirty rotten asshat love of my life giggling at me awaking with a start and threatening to stick his cold bloody hands under the bed covers. He’d been up since 7am when I shook him awake to go to a firecall (he slept through the damn pager again) and for some reason only known to himself and God, he expected me to be up and awake and greeting him with a smile when he walked back in the door. OK. But it’s my sleep in morning and disturb it only if you have a death wish………… which apparently he does today. Great. He’s going to shit stir me all day now, I just know it!

*shakes head*

Can I go back to bed now?



1. Anja - August 2, 2008

My ever so precious younger sibling does that to me all the farkin’ time! I HATE being awoken by a pair of huge blue eyes burning their gaze into my skull.

Families are such fun, are they not?

2. Jayne - August 2, 2008

We have a squeaky bedroom door so the minute some darling child enters to play the staring game I’m awake enough to spoil their fun…and my sleep lol.

3. Naomi - August 2, 2008

Ye gads,

That would drive me bonkers!

Maybe you could handle it the way I did – ‘startled awake’ = screaming wildly and lashing out in all directions. Everyone soon learnt to tiptoe in, place a cup of coffee quietly next to the bed, and tiptoe out again. Or risk ‘accidental’ decapitation 😛

4. frogpondsrock - August 2, 2008

Grrrr!!!! David used to do that.
Now he is a teenager and will sleep all weekend if i let him so I get to have a sleep in finally YAY..

5. river - August 2, 2008

No, you can’t go back to bed now, you’re much too wide awake after blogging all that. Go and get some breakfast. Then see about installing a lock on the door.

6. PlanningQueen - August 2, 2008

I call my little girl “the sidler”. She will just quietly sidle up (like yours) and just stand there quielty until I wake up. I was hoping that she would out grow it. Your post dashed that hope!

7. tiff - August 2, 2008

There is no sleep in at our house and we are usually woken up by little bodies jumping on us and frosty frosty feet.
The sidler sounds kind of nice to me.

8. Pure Evyl - August 3, 2008

That kind of stuff scares the hell out of me. My boy used to do that to me all the time. Spooked the bejesus out of me.

9. dancingwithfrogs - August 3, 2008

Too funny. Mine have outgrown that. Only the youngest voluntarily gets up at a reasonable time. The others would sleep in till noon if they could.

10. magneto bold too - August 3, 2008

Girl, Boo used to whisper in my ear and I would wake to a Teletubby shoved in my face.


And they wonder why I am so freaking bad tempered

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