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Now That’s An Entrance!! December 17, 2008

Posted by Mistress B in Christmas, Funny Stuff, Kids.
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Miss Lou was watching Batman and Robin earlier – one of my favourite lines is Joker talking to Two Face and saying “Your entrance was good. His was better.” but I got to say that neither of them topped Santa’s entrance to the swimming club Christmas party tonight!

First we were buzzed by an aeroplane, and presumed it was Santa heading to the fly in at the airport hosted by the local aero club. Then we were buzzed again and this time there were people walking around with their eyes glued to the sky watching this ——–>

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yup, that’s Santa and his technicolour parachute!

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I got to say that it was really freaking funny watching the big red dude hanging from a parachute and drifting in the wind

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I was just disappointed that I only had my mobile phone camera and not my other camera to take pics with.

Santa eventually landed on the athletics track next to the pool and was promptly swamped by kids wanting their lolly bags before dashing away to his next appointment, but that was one Santa visit that won’t be forgotten in a hurry I can assure you!

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Note to self………. December 12, 2008

Posted by Mistress B in Craft Projects, Funny Stuff.
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When going out wearing earrings made by self, take spare pairs.

Why?

What a good question.

Because I was wearing these pretties

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CJ was wearing a pair too and a few peeps commented about them, wanting to know where I got them………..

So I explained that I’d made them, sold the ones I was wearing and came home with orders for two more pairs!

Not bad going at all

Who knows what might happen if I have spare pairs on me next time someone asks about my pretty earrings!

Screw Up Tuesday December 2, 2008

Posted by Mistress B in Blogging stuff, Family, Funny Stuff.
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I could easily give this award to myself this morning for severly underestimating how long it would take us to crawl our way through traffic to pick Miss Lou up from school last Friday. We made good time all the way through the mountains, right up till we hit Parramatta Road from where it then took us THREE FREAKIN HOURS to get to the inner city and Miss Lou’s school. Getting out of there and down to Wollongong wasn’t much better taking us nearly another 3 hours.

I NEVER want to have to drive in traffic like that again! I seriously don’t know how Sydneysiders do it! We were sitting at one set of traffic lights for over 20 minutes. Miss Lou’s boarding coordinator had rang us at one stage to find out where we were and give us directions. She’s asked us if we were at the next turn yet and we were still sitting at the same set of lights as when we started the conversation! (Yes I have hands free mic and speaker for my mobile hardwired into the car). I’m guessing that the rain made things worse too, but jeez! Hopefully I won’t have to make that trip again.

Other contenders for the screwed up prize this week are CJ who was walking around the house in her finished Pink! dress last night shaking her very bright PINK! nailpolish when the lid flew off! We had to then clean nail polish off the tiles, the carpet, her neck, chest, fingers and her damn dress!

Not to be outdone, Miss Lou sent a heap of things home with us from school and accidently also managed to send hom her purse with all her money and keycards in it which I’ll now have to mail back down to her.

TJ wasn’t going to be left out either. While being given a tour of Miss Lou’s school he spotted some likely looking chain strand fencing between posts near the car park and decided to try out his ‘scissor jump’ technique from Little Athletics the other week, missed and splattered himself on the asphalt scraping his arm.

Oh and PSLS left his charger at home last night after forgetting to charge his damn phone the night before and still hasn’t found his old charger that he left in one of the trucks.

So there you have it! A real screwed up family affair this week kiddies.

So what do you have for me? Come on, you know you want to share………..

Whack! November 27, 2008

Posted by Mistress B in CJ, Family, Funny Stuff, Kids.
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Whack!

Everything is ‘Whack!’

‘Mum, my hair is gone all whack!’

‘That’s so whack!’

‘How whack was that!’

Apparently ‘Whack’ ™ is a multi purpose descriptor for anything that is stuffed up, craptacular, strange, unfair, odd looking or unbelievable –  both kinds – unbelievably bad and unbelievably funny.

If things aren’t ‘Whack’ ™, then they are ‘Random’ ™.

‘That was so random!’

‘How random would it be if we……..’

Perhaps I should explain to daughter number two that an event isn’t actually random if you have planned it 😉

Still, I can live with ‘Whack’ ™ and ‘Random’ ™, in addition to ‘What the hell?‘ as long as she doesn’t start using ‘Dude’ every second word again!

Reject in the Reject Shop November 22, 2008

Posted by Mistress B in Funny Stuff, Hubby.
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So the other day I’m wandering around in The Reject Shop with the PSLS. We are looking at the Christmas pretties, I’m contemplating which tins to buy to put home made goodies in for adult munchy type gifts, he’s checking out lollies and shit cos he’s a sweet toothed fella when this comes over the in store radio

and PSLS starts singing along AND dancing in the freakin aisle!

I tried threatening to embarrass him on my blog.

He tries to get me to dance along with him.

I ran away.

I rejected him in The Reject Shop.

You’d think they could have kept him. Surely someone would have coughed up $20 for a slightly used husband with shit taste in music but a tight squeezable ass!

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So what made you smile this week?

Head on over to Lightening Online to share your smiles and read others smiley moments

The Truckie November 21, 2008

Posted by Mistress B in Friends, Funny Stuff, Hubby.
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So yesterday afternoon I’m driving to school to pick the kids up and happen to spot one of the other trucks from hubby’s working leaving the factory. (The factory is 2 blocks down and around the corner from our house).

The truck was in front of me and heading through town to go out the Sydney road. As he was turning onto the Sydney road he’s spotted me behind him and waved. A minute later he’s pulled up in front of the showground and is waving some more. I thought he was adjusting his mirrors or something so waved back and kept going. He pulled back out onto the road a moment later.

Now this particular workmate of my hubby’s is a real blokey bloke who has a bit of a biker thing going on.  He’s not particularly tall, but he’s got a mullet longish dark hair, a moustache, multiple earrings, big chunky silver rings on most fingers, big chunky silver chain around his neck, tatts down his arms…… he looks rough and he has that really typical big, round truckies stomach thing going on that is often barely covered by his unbuttoned high visability work shirt much to the factory manager’s chagrin.

So you can imagine my amusement a minute later as I’m sitting on the middle of the bridge waiting for the traffic  lights to change and glance up just in time to see this fella hop out of his truck, and start running up the centreline of the road towards me. As I wind down my window he throws a piece of paper into the car, says “check this” and runs back to his truck. I’m just about pissing myself laughing as it was so unexpected both to have someone do that AND to watch this guy running anywhere!

The piece of paper? His Chrisco order for next year. Lots of seafood and beer! 😉

Bugged! November 14, 2008

Posted by Mistress B in Funny Stuff, Hubby, Ramblings.
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I don’t mind the warmer weather, truly I don’t. At least not while it’s only hovering in the low 30’s (high 80’s F for you crazy non metric Americans), when it gets up into the 40’s (104 F+) I’ll be bitching up a storm though cos when the temp is that high, even the pool doesn’t cool you off and all a person can do is sprawl on the lounge in front of the aircon in a very unladylike manner with as little clothing as possible with children in the house while licking icecubes and making grunting noises in the general direction of anyone who dares disturb your wilt …………….

Where was I? Ah, yes, I don’t mind the temp at the moment, but it has a nasty side effect that drives me nuts.

Bugs.

Everyfreakinwhere.

Little white or brown moths.

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Ants.

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Little biddy spiders.

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Flies

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Grasshoppers

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And all of the above mentioned bugs seem to think that they need to be inside the house with me! (ok but not redbacks – just other spiders in general. We only find redbacks outside but that was the spider pic that creeped me out the least so it was the one that I used) and somefreakinhow the little crawly/flying/bidey things are finding their way inside with me.

I’m getting to the stage where I’m seeing things out of the corner of my eye  and jumping out of my skin quite regularly throughout the day.

PSLS has a job to do this weekend……….. fixing all screens, filling all gaps, getting around to putting on the weather strips at the bottoms of the doors and respraying the entire outside of the house with bug repellent cos having all these bugs inside is really starting to bug me!