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Thank You September 14, 2008

Posted by Mistress B in Family, Funny Stuff, Hubby, Marriage.
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Thank you so much everyone for your congratulations and well wishes on mine and PSLS’s 10th Wedding Anniversary the other day.

No, we didn’t go out or do anything special or even spend more than an hour in each other’s company on the day. He was at work all morning and not long after he got home I was off to Dubbo for a communications course for the weekend.

But he did get me a pressie………..

Looky looky! Look at the shiny!!








What did I get him?

Nuffin yet!

Hold on, hold on.

I do have plans to drag take him to the jewellers to get him sized for a new wedding band. This will be his third one. He has to be home during business hours for this plan to work though.

The first wedding ring lasted a few years until he was washing a truck and went to flick some suds off his hands. The ring went flying along with the suds. This may not have been such a problem had he not been on top of the truck at the time and had the truck wash area not been surrounded by wood shavings, sawdust, pallets of wood waiting to be used and an overgrown paddock of prickles. We searched for two hours to no avail.

The second ring only lasted a couple of years. It went missing during a fire call somewhere in the middle of a burnt paddock near one of the outlying villages in our area. Again, our chances of finding said ring, buckleys and none.

The moral of the story is not to let my husband near water while wearing his wedding ring.

A dear friend did suggest getting him a ‘Prince Albert’ style wedding ring this time, but I think perhaps a chain to hang the ring on around his neck might be sufficient. 😉

(That suggestion had him running away with crossed legs Anja! LOL)


What’s my story? September 12, 2008

Posted by Mistress B in Family, Funny Stuff, Hubby, Marriage, Meme's, Ramblings, Relationships.
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Today is my 10th Wedding Anniversary.

Quite some time ago now the lovely Trish from My Little Drummer Boys shared her wedding story and asked her readers what their stories are – I thought that how PSLS and I met and our wedding would be a good story to share for my anniversary.

PSLS, Me and our wedding party.

PSLS, Me and our wedding party.

(You’ll have to forgive the quality of my pics – my scanner isn’t working so I had to take photo’s of my photo’s to get the onto the pc)

Mine is a story of three’s.

Hubby and I met one winter afternoon at softball. I had moved back to town with Miss Lou about 8 months earlier after running away from the freak ex and a girlfriend had invited me to play on her softball team. He was on a different team, but we got to chatting one afternoon while I was helping in the canteen at the sports ground. Chatting led to joking, joking led to flirting and next thing I knew he was threatening me with tomato sauce bottles and trying to throw me into a bin. What a story he’ll be able to tell our grandchildren “oh I just found your grandmother lying around in a garbage bin one day covered in tomato sauce like a street bum………”

After I finished up my canteen duties, we spent the rest of the afternoon between games playing soccer with some kids and chatting. At the end of the afternoon my girlfriend was hinting at him to drive me home, but he didn’t take the hint and I thought I would maybe see him again the next week.

About three hours later I get a phone call. A friend of his had called a friend of mine to ask if she could ring me to ask for my phone number. Then the friend rang me to ask for my address to give to ‘someone’. Needless to say I was very bemused. Not five minutes later there was a knock at my front door.

By this stage I had picked up Miss Lou from mum’s. She was 16 months old and on the go. As I answered the front door she came toddling out the living room door and up the hall behind me. He had no idea I had a kid. He went white. You could see the indecision on his face for a moment then he gathered himself and stepped inside. We sat and talked for hours. He kissed me. It was nice.

The third time he came to visit me he told me that he loved me. I bolted, literally, to the other side of the room. The idea, after everything I’d been through with the freak ex, of ‘love’ scared the shit out of me. But he didn’t ask for anything (though he did tell me later that he was worried I was going to throw him out for a few minutes). He had apparently already made up his mind that I was “the one” and he was content to wait.

Three weeks after we met, he showed up one weekend and just never went home. We never discussed moving in or anything, he just never went back home. I wasn’t sure, but I was also still being stalked by the freak at this stage so it was very comforting to have someone steady, stable and reliable around. It didn’t take me long to realise that my heart was safe with this man.

Three months after we met, I threw him a birthday party. I had invited about 30 of our family and friends. He stands up and while thanking everyone for coming he announces that we are getting married. We’d never discussed it and I spent the rest of the night sitting with my mouth gaping open while people congratulated us.

We had CJ 13 months later. And along the way we moved three times, got custody sorted out over Miss Lou, reconnected with hubby’s dad, separated briefly once, sorted ourselves out and were building a life together.

Three years (and nearly three months) after we met we got married.

We had a simple backyard wedding with a celebrant presiding and about 60 of our family and friends in attendance. CJ and Miss Lou had gorgeous little gold dresses and walked me down the aisle. Seeing as how both our families weren’t being terribly involved, some of my friends and the celebrant the helped to set up the tables/chairs/place settings and the best man’s family cooked the BBQ. Only about half my decorations were put up, we simply ran out of time and manpower.

And the rain didn’t help.

For most of the week before our wedding it BUCKETED down. Walking through our backyard meant sinking in mud up to your ankles. Some quick thinking resulted in my walking down a blue tarp aisle escorted by my gorgeous girls to the tune of Shania Twain’s song “Still The One“.

Me and Miss Lou on the blue tarp aisle

My gorgeous girls however turned into screaming banshees as soon as the camera’s came out. Nearly every. single. photo. with them in it shows one or both of them screaming their freakin’ tiny little lungs out.

See screaming! and frowning!

Our adventures with the mud weren’t finished once the ceremony was over either. As we all sat down to eat after returning from photo’s our chairs sank a few inches into the ground. It was like sitting on kid sized chairs at the big table. We ended up with a mud trail from the back door through our house to the toilet. Took us a month to get our living room carpet to look clean again!

And my father in law. god smite love him! He was blind drunk by the time we got back from our photo’s. My step mother in law was making a wedding video for us and was so embarrassed by him that she edited him out of the ENTIRE tape. Not that I blame her. He made a drunken speech that everyone just smiled and nodded at cos he was rambling and we couldn’t understand a word. He tried to hit on my mother in law (They’d been divorced for like 20 years!), then tried to hit on my maid of honour (by trying to stick his tongue down her throat EWWW!), picked a fight with my step mother in law then threw up behind the marquee before we finally managed to convince him to go back to the motel and call it a night.

Rose (PSLS's Step mum) and Mal (his dad) with us.

Rose (his step mum) and Mal (his dad) with us

Not that his conduct bothered us too much – at least he was there happily. My mother was there but refusing to talk to me while his mother and step father showed up late in their house clothes and were making a point of keeping themselves to themselves.

My sis, nice bro, Mum, druggo bro, us and Dad

My sis, nice bro, Mum, druggo bro, us and Dad

We weren’t having a honeymoon. We didn’t even go to a motel, we didn’t farm our girls out and we were putting the best man and maid of honour up for the night.

You can imagine our giggles when, after everyone else had gone home and we were lying in bed discussing  the night, we heard strange sounds coming from down the hall. Seems that the best man and maid of honour had taken quite a liking to each other and had decided to go at it.

The best man and maid of honour

The best man and maid of honour

And it turns out there was one last three…….. all three of our kids were with us at our wedding. I found out a couple of days later that I was 5 weeks pregnant with TJ. lol

So there you have it. Lots of mud, mayhem and other people getting laid.

Was it the wedding I imagined? Not by a long shot.

But you know, oddly enough, though it was shambolic and challenging, it was also simple, very us and we had a ball!

And do other people remember it? Absofreakinlutely! 😉 lol

I’ve had someone tell me it was the nicest wedding they’d ever been to despite the mud because it was just so us. It wasn’t perfect, it wasn’t quite what was planned, but the best of the situation was made and lots of laughs were had.

Bit like our marriage really. It’s not perfect, it’s not always what we planned, but we do try our hardest to make the best of things and have as many laughs along the way as we can.

We have to. We’ve been in some very rocky spots together with the issues that go with step-parenting,  parenting a special needs child, unsupportive family members and the demands of his job,  as well as some pretty dark places – a nasty custody battle, losing Miss Lou, a resulting bankruptcy, my cancer scare………….. I’ve been told that statistically 90% of couples who’ve been through some of what we have don’t make it.

But we have.

I don’t know why.

I could tell you that it’s because we are good mates, because we’ve learnt to communicate well, because we actually enjoy each others company (mostly), because we have common interests besides the children, because we do things away from each other as well,  because ‘We go together like rama lama lama ke ding a de dinga a dong remembered for ever like shoo bop shoo wadda wadda yipitty boom de boom Chang chang chang-it-ty chang  shoo-bop That’s the way it should be Wha oooh yeah!‘, but I don’t why. It could be any of those things or all of those things or none of them.

I do know that when we committed to each other we committed mind, body and soul, to have and to hold, from that day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish ’till death do us part and we meant it. That doesn’t mean that we haven’t want to bail at times, but we’ve stuck in there and out of that commitment has grown something far deeper and far richer than anything I could have imagined.

Love you baby.

Here’s to the next ten years.

Old Man? February 2, 2008

Posted by Mistress B in Family, Funny Stuff, Hubby, Marriage, Relationships.
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So I’m sitting quietly at my desk minding my own business, sniggering at my friends (Anja and Nikki) under my breath, just like any good little wife who wants to be left in peace does, and my husband decides to rough me up for something to do.

I tells him to go away and calls him a dirty old man. He tells me he’s not an old man. I tell him “Yes you are. And you have the false teeth to prove it!”

He’s got nothing.

Walks off in defeat.


A Hard Truth January 28, 2008

Posted by Mistress B in Funny Stuff, Hubby, Marriage, My Brigade, Relationships.
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My husband came home from the station tonight with smoke coming out his ears. When I finally got him to stop sputtering and ranting, it turned out that he felt like he had been had a go at by the captain for giving out orders when it wasn’t his place to do so. He felt that he hadn’t been doing any such thing, but had been merely trying to step up as a senior member to support the captain in getting things running smoothly again.

I rang the president to get an independent opinion on what happened. She tells me that the Captain was trying to explain to hubby that he needs to ask people to do tasks not tell them.

I know exactly what she meant.  And when he calmed down I told him a hard truth.

He is a bossy boots.

He doesn’t mean to be. He doesn’t try to be. He just gets caught up in what he’s doing and if you aren’t sure what you should be doing, he’ll tell you. Or just do it for you without explaining what/how/why he is doing.  He forgets to phrase his instructions as requests. He doesn’t say “please”. He forgets that not everyone  has his knowledge or experience and might need some coaxing, encouragement or some kind of explanation.

This is something that can be off-putting to others, even a little intimidating to newer members.

He’s not like that when he’s instructing though. When he’s instructing he asks questions, provides explanations, remembers to hang back and let people work things out for themselves. He still doesn’t say “please” but he phrases himself much better.

He needs to flick that switch in his head and put himself in instructor mode every time he goes near the station.

He didn’t like hearing that. Nobody likes hearing hard truths about themselves though. And he’s a bit mystified cos he genuinely doesn’t think he is a bossy boots.

So just to prove my point, when he started bossing me in the kitchen, I just stood still and gave him “a look”. He said “please”. I smiled and did as he asked. He then said “Oh shit! Now you’re going to make me say please all the time aren’t you?”. I smiled and nodded again. Damn straight I am!!

Smiley Saturday January 26, 2008

Posted by Mistress B in Chocolate, CJ, Hubby, Kids, Marriage, Parenting, Ramblings, Smiley Saturday.
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Well it’s that time of the week again………. time to head over to Lightenings to sign on for Smiley Saturday.

So what does this stressed and frustrated mum have to smile about today?

Well, I’m smiling cos there are only a few days to go till school goes back.

I’m smiling cos I found a whole block of Eden Dark Chocolate in hubby’s bedside cupboard.

I’m smiling cos after doing my block this morning, my bratlings darling children are behaving and being helpful.

I’m smiling cos right now tea is being cooked. Hubby has peeled the potatoes, TJ & CJ helped make the zucchini slice and everyone is taking turns checking on the snags.

I’m smiling cos the bratlings kids finally started to clean their rooms and their floors are mostly visible.

Life is good.

And there are only 86 hours to go……………….. 😉

Ugh! Not Cricket!! January 18, 2008

Posted by Mistress B in Birthdays, Church Stuff, Family, Finances, Friends, Funny Stuff, Hubby, Kids, Marriage, Miss Lou, Parenting, Ramblings, Relationships, The Ex, TJ.
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I know I mustn’t be terribly Australian for saying this……….. but I cannot stand watching cricket on telly!! Cricket on telly is however, my hubby’s idea of a good night in. Perhaps it is uncharitable of me, but after the day I’ve had, having to indulge my spouse’s cricket fetish is NOT on my list of things to do.

Today we had planned a morning of horse-riding with friends, followed by an early birthday party/BBQ at the pool for lunch before we spent the afternoon doing a little shopping and some errands before going to church for Miss Lou to make her First Reconciliation and Eucharist then dropping her out to her grandparents house. Miss Lou needs to do the sacraments as she will be going to a Catholic boarding school and the freak is a catholic hating pentecostal so she hasn’t had the chance to do them before now.

The day started out well. Sure I overslept by half an hour, but I still managed to get out the front door on time, smelling nice, looking put together and with nearly everything I needed for the day’s outings (including jackets). We picked up everyone on time and met up with the friends we were going horse-riding with on time and got out to the farm we were going riding at on time……… and the day just went downhill from there. I think Murphy was hitchhiking in my car cos boy was it a fucked up day.

While riding around on the back of a ute helping bring the horses down to the house yard to be saddled up, TJ decided that his glasses were too loose and took them off, putting them in his shirt pocket. We have no idea which paddock he may have been in when he dropped them, we looked for an hour, but stuffed if we could find the bastard things and he can’t freakin well see properly without them! He couldn’t enjoy his ride after that because his blurry vision from the back of the horse was freaking him out, poor kid.

So we headed back into town, late, to try to meet up with some other friends and family we’d invited to our lunch pool party. It decided to rain on us though cooling down further what was already a cool-ish day. We ended up vetoing the swimming, instead opting for a sausage sizzle at a park from which we could bolt if the heavens decided to really open up. While I was getting our meat from the car, one of the other older kids turned on the BBQ plate to heat up. TJ didn’t realise it was on and put his hand on it. Yes. Oh shit!!

So I’m making this huge puddle in the middle of the park with the tap running sticking his hand under it while trying to find someone with a mobile phone with credit on it so I can get hold of my mother to come look after my other children. After 20 minutes it’s still stinging him like buggery and beginning to blister so I pack him into the car and take him to the doctors surgery (after giving him a panadol and a sausage sandwich – can’t go to the doctors hungry!).

Now you need to know we are in a small town, so we don’t have doctors at our hospital. The local doctors all do rotations on call and check on their patients at the hospital, but are not based in the hospital, so quite often if you go to casualty for something reasonably minor on a weekday, they will send you down to the doctor’s surgery. I thought I’d cut out the middle man and went straight to the surgery. We walk in, explain the situation and the receptionist says “Oh, they’re all out to lunch and won’t be back till after two, so we really can’t help you.” I’m thinking…….. “that’s it? You aren’t even sorry you can’t help me? You can’t offer to help me make him comfortable while we wait then fit him in first thing when they all get back you fucking cow cos-can’t-you-see-my-son-is-in-pain?”. But I didn’t say any of that, I simply said “Of course bloody not” as I walked back out the door and drove him to casualty.

At casualty the nurse had a basin of water out for TJ to sit his hand in before I’d even finished explaining to the security guard why we were there. Of course, they had to track the doctor down from her lunch and we had to wait for her to come to the hospital, so it took us a few hours to get out of there, but at least they made him comfortable during the wait and checked on him regularly. (His burn isn’t too bad, but needed to be dressed properly because of the blistering and risk of infection. We have to go get it checked again and redressed on Monday.)

When we get out of the hospital it’s raining (not just spitting and drizzling). It’s also hubby’s knock off time, so we go pick him up thinking he might take the news of the missing $312 glasses better if he’s not cold and wet. Needless to say he was none too pleased despite his respite from the cold and wet. Meantime I know that there are people trying to track me down about confirming the arrangements for church that night, and I don’t have time to try to track them down in return.

So finally I make it back to my mother’s to pick up the other children that I abandoned left in her care to take TJ to get medical attention. We finally have the birthday cake that Miss Lou has been looking forward to for the past two weeks then have to rush off to finish up some last minute errands before the close of business hours……… but wait…….. there’s more. As we are leaving my mother’s house the car won’t start. I have power, I have clicking sounds that indicate the power is getting to the starter motor, but no actual engine turning over. Shit!! And this car is tricky for sticking a screwdriver into the starter motor without giving yourself a buzz! I finally got it to turn (after punching the steering wheel which Miss Lou thinks fixed the problem lol) and then was hardly game to turn the engine off when we got down the street. But I persevered and it didn’t play up again.
Finally, we got everything done without further incident, dropped Miss Lou out to her grandparent’s farm and went back home expecting my loving husband to provide me with comfort and sympathy and hoping like hell that he’d started tea. He was planted firmly on the lounge watching the damn cricket and not interested at all in my grumbling. Sigh……………… So I think I can be forgiven tonight of all nights for not wanting to know about the bloody cricket!!

Note: In positive news, I managed to rearrange some bill payments to free up (hopefully) enough money to replace the glasses before the start of school, TJ finished the last chapter in his book tonight, Miss Moo helped to cook tea cos she loves her mummy and I found some woodstocks in the fridge just waiting to be drank! lol

Who is wanton now? January 17, 2008

Posted by Mistress B in Family, Flying, Funny Stuff, Hubby, Marriage, Relationships.
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So I’m sitting on the lounge earlier listening to TJ read the second last chapter of his book (Yay TJ!!) and hubby sits at the computer to have a play on Youtube. Open on the screen is my Flylady TaDa and ToDo list  which he has a bit of a sticky beak at.

After I tells him to get his nose out of my ToDo list, he gets an twinkle in his eyes and starts typing. “OI!” says I, “if you put that on my list you’ll get me kicked out of the group!”. “How’d you know that was what I was going to put?” he replies, to which I just roll my eyes.

Would seem I’m not the only wanton one! lol