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Evil October 18, 2008

Posted by Mistress B in Funny Stuff, Health, Ramblings.
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Evil is real and it lives amougst us. Here is it’s picture.

We discovered the evil plant of sinus doom growing over our back fence near our water tank a few days ago.

It sits about 12 ft up, peeking at us from over the top of the ivy vine that is our side fence, mocking us with it’s ‘multiple-hot-metal-spikes-of-pain-through-our-eyes-noses-and-foreheads-type-headache’ inducing scent. I’d been able to smell the fucker for about a week before I finally spotted it hiding up way up above our water tank. It will have to do better than that to avoid detection.

Oh but Jasmine is so pretty and it smells so nice I hear some of you say.

And I respond may the fleas of a thousand camels infest your pubic hair with a request that you please consider the agony of hayfever and sinusitis sufferers that this plant contributes to and NOT plant it in your yard forcing your neighbours to stay shut up inside their homes all through spring without even being able to open a window in a vain attempt to avoid their faces feeling like they are going to fall off.

Now you’ll have to excuse me while I go learn how to become evil and start plotting the world wide demise and extinction of the evil plant of sinus doom.

What?

I have to do something to amuse myself and it’s not like I can go sit outside with a book and enjoy the sunshine.

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Comments

1. QueenBitch - October 18, 2008

I do feel your pain. You are probably going to throw things at me after you finish what I say.

This spring for some reason… my hayfever is non existant!! I’ve been going for walks every day and i can breathe in through my nose! and NOTHING HAPPENS except for the sweet sweet smells of spring. Its great. I used to take a loratab a day (Even in winter). I got my tooth out and volia! no more sneezy snuffy runny nose or watery eyes.

You could always pull out the plant and act innocent to the neighbors.

I am truly pleased for you. Really. Jealous as all hell, but pleased for you that you have escaped the living hell that is hayfever.

I do plan on poisoning the plant by soaking the branches we can reach in glyphosate just as soon as I can find a ladder tall enough to get near it. Well, I’m going to make PSLS do that anyhow. I can’t even go outside to hang out the washing at the moment *shakes head* ~ B

2. brissiemum2 - October 18, 2008

Not to mention that it attracts bees in swarm-like quantities!

Although I notice a few plants that have the sinuses going atm. That Yesterday-Today-Tomorrow plant (don’t know the real name though) always does it to me…..and don’t get me started on Wattle!

Invest in Telfast….the breakfast of sinus sufferers everywhere (and I nicked that line from a friend but it is oh-so-true!)

Don’t forget the horseradish and garlic tablets! lol ~ B

3. magneto bold too - October 18, 2008

Oooh, now I know what I am going to get you for Christmas.

Bwaaaaaa haaaa haaaaaaaaaa!

have glyphosate, will use………….. I’ve already bought your crocs to send you biatch mwah! lmao ~ B

4. anja - October 18, 2008

I’ve got a little ‘bider’ we could put inside the crocs. That’ll learn her.

I’m not above doing that……….. bwaaahaahaaa

5. river - October 18, 2008

That picture is Chinese Star Jasmine, a very pretty plant which has an aniseed scent. I have one growing in my side yard. The Jasmine which stuffs up my head is Jasmine Polyanthum, the petals aren’t curled and the flowers have a deep pink colouring at the base of the petals. The scent is very, very strong, very heady and carries for blocks, especially at dawn and dusk. In my neighbourhood I know where most of the plants are and avoid walking those streets as much as I possibly can. I’ve recently gone back to using the nasal spray which worked for me 20 years ago, and it’s as effective now as it was then. (For some reason it wasn’t working for me for quite a while.) The jasmine still bothers me, but not so much. I get by with blocking my nose and mouth breathing as soon as I smell one. Which one is the one giving you trouble? Try a nasal spray? Usually they are preventive and take a few days or a week to be properly effective, but it’s worth perservering.

Thanks River. I didn’t think my first pic looked quite right but couldn’t think of the botanical name. I take garlic and horseradish tablets to help keep my sinuses clear, I take an anti histamine, use a saline sinus rinse and when desperate also use the nasal spray – I can’t use the spray for long though because I get nose bleeds from it.

6. frogpondsrock - October 18, 2008

Much sympathy to you.. the spouse gets terrible hay-fever but Jasmine isn’t one of his triggers.. He doesn’t usually get hayfever until about the middle of November and then it lasts until about the third week of January.. xxx Kim..

7. widdleshamrock - October 19, 2008

That must be awful. I feel you, I mean I feel for you.

8. river - October 19, 2008

Oooh yes, that’s the one. I held my breath as soon as I saw the picture, then I remembered I was safely in my living room. Heh. Tried doubling the anti histamine dose? I get by with a minimal amount for most things, but for the few weeks the jasmine blooms, i triple my dose.

9. Jayne - October 19, 2008

You could spray the flowers peeking at you with hot, soapy water which might kill the scented bits and cause them to drop off the twig, so to speak 😉

10. Anja - October 20, 2008

Jasmine has a bitch of a cousin, the Privet (sp?) hedge.

11. Pure Evyl - October 20, 2008

I was plagued by a bush called ‘Heavenly Bamboo.’ There wasn’t a damned thing heavenly about that plant.

12. QueenBitch - October 20, 2008

lol @ evyl

13. river - October 20, 2008

Thanks for reminding me anja, the huge privet hedge two doors down will be blooming soon. As will the several others I have to pass on my way to and from work.

14. planningqueen - October 20, 2008

This makes me so grateful that I do not suffer from sinus!


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