jump to navigation

No friends like your old friends……… April 3, 2008

Posted by Mistress B in Family, Friends, Funny Stuff, Relationships.
Tags: , , , ,

I was talking to one of my besties tonight.

No not Anja or Nikki (WS) much as I love those nutters.

I was talking tonight to my best friend from school (BFFS) L. We chatted for 137 minutes before her phone died rudely interrupting the conversation. She was just about to tell me about what they were doing in the coming holidays if she’s up to travelling.We’d already covered the topics of funerals, ultrasounds, the skank whore in law, school reunions, my drug fucked smacko whacko bro, her new nephew, her work, maternity leave, my hysterectomy, our daughter’s rampaging hormones, Lou, boarding school, periods, pregnancy, epidurals, pelvic pain and her mother’s most recent cancer treatment.

One of my early memories as a kid is of being at L’s birthday party, sitting on balloons till they burst then falling on our butts onto the concrete. I think we were all of 6 years old. We we friendly in the way that kids of that age in the same class are, but our real friendship was to develop later.

During high school she lived just half a block up the road from me.  I was a shy, awkard teen who didn’t quite fit in with any of the social cliques.  She seemed to me (at first) to be all the things I wasn’t – part of a group, confident, sure of herself and she gave me the one thing I craved. Acceptance. Unconditional acceptance. She took me as I was. She took most people as they were. That’s one of the things I love about her. In her I found a place that I belonged. A kindred spirit to share my fears with, a confidante who helped me bridge the gap between geeky tomboy and angst filled, fashion conscious, teen girl.

And we were close. There wasn’t anything we couldn’t talk about, cry about or laugh about. She was family to me at a time when my ‘other’ family was starting to come apart at the seams.  We were so tuned in to each other that I would frequently ‘just know’ when something was wrong even without having seen or spoken to her. (Yes Anja, I had my spooky talent even then)

I only ever once remember fighting with L. I can’t remember what it was about. I do remember that she decided that she wasn’t going to speak to me over it though and I remember deciding that two could play that game. We ‘silent-treated’ eachother for 3 days before she cracked and admitted that I was more stubborn than she was. I took that as a compliment ‘cos she was one mighty stubborn girl!!

I often narrowly escaped getting into trouble with L more than with anyone else! So many times we said we were at one place and were actually at another. Or were late because we “couldn’t find a phone booth that worked” or “had to wait AGES for a taxi”.

There was silly stuff like the time we asked my father for a condom, filled the tip with cream, placed it in a jewellery box, wrapped it in pretty paper and presented it as a present to my ex boyfriend who had taken to acting like God’s studly gift. We figured that was the closest he’d get to actually using one himself. I’d never seen a boy turn that shade of red before!

There were dumb times like when she was meant to be doing work experience and I had decided to wag sport. She was walking past my place and seen by a teacher so for reasons unknown even to herself,  instead of explaining her genuine excuse for not being as school, she bolted into my back door  where we hid in closets and pretended not to be home. Both our parents got phone calls about our absence that day.

And the close calls like when we were 15  and having her farewell party. She had convinced some over age male friends to buy us some scotch. We took the booze and a few other friends back to my place after carefully pouring the scotch into soft drink bottles to hide it from my parents. We then got pissed and spent the night lying on the trampoline star gazing in the backyard(yes, she’ll tell you there were stars in her boyfriend’s eyes but I’m not sure what she was trying to dig out of his mouth with her tongue). The next morning my dad picked up one of the bottles and took a swig thinking it was cola. Boy did he get a surprise! We professed shock, blamed it on her boyfriend and his best mate then were allowed to continue on our merry way making the most of her last few days.

L and I don’t see each other very often. After graduation at the end of year 10 her family moved to Canberra. We stayed in touch, visited from time to time, but our lives went their separate ways. She became a career gal, married a great bloke had two gorgeous kids and did really well for herself. I ran away to QLD with a drop kick, got preggers, had a kid, ran away back home, finally met a decent bloke, had another kid, finally got married, had the last kid, am a SAHM and now would say I’m doing ok. See? Completely different!

Nowadays she lives back out in the country about an hour from where we are to be close to both her own and her husband’s parents.  But still our paths don’t cross very often. Not that it matters. There have been times we may not have seen each other or even spoken for a year or more, but could still pick up the phone and start talking as if we’d only been chatting just yesterday.

We didn’t make it to eachother’s weddings, we weren’t there when the other one was having their babies. I wasn’t there when they were in and out of hospital with her infant son’s asthma, she wasn’t here when I was battling over custody of my daughter. We pop in and out of each others lives quite randomly it would seem.

But it doesn’t matter. It never has. It never will. Time and distance and circumstances all melt away as soon as we pick up the phone. You see with old friends, you don’t have to make excuses. or explain. And it doesn’t matter how long it’s been. It’s always comfortable. It’s always familiar. It’s always home. And it doesn’t matter where I’ve been or what I’ve been doing. She still knows me. She knows my heart.

And our spooky link is still in tune. Just last week I was telling my husband that I HAD to go visit L. He asked me what for and all I could do was shrug my shoulders at him in answer. The next day I opened an email from her telling me that her husband’s grandfather had died……………..  The latest blow in what has been an incredibly hellish rough year for her family. Her husband is having heart problems related to chemotherapy treatment when he was a teen, her mother is battling cancer, her father in law had an unexpected heart attack and passed away, she’s had scares involving her pregnancy, problems with her daughter being bullied at school, moved house and now this.

I don’t know how she holds it together. I guess it’s that stubborn streak that I so often admired as a teen  or perhaps it’s because she knows what’s important. Family. Friends. People. Loving and living with everything you have and never giving up on your hopes and dreams.

I gave L a link to my blog the other day so that she can check up on me whenever she feels like it, so I’d just like to say ‘Welcome’ to my BFFS , my old friend, my other sister in my heart. ❤



1. Casdok - April 3, 2008

Its amazing how the phone and interenet makes the world a much smaller place, and wonderful to have such great friends.

2. widdleshamrock - April 3, 2008

Awwwww. That’s lovely.

Welcome BFFS !!!!!!!! 🙂

3. Jayne - April 3, 2008

That sounds like a great friendship 🙂
Fingers crossed things start improving for her soon!

4. Trish - April 3, 2008

what a great mate you have in L – I have a few friends like that and I treasure them but miss them dearly in between too.
I hope brighter days are ahead for BFFS.
I liked hearing the cheeky things you got up too – be careful if your kids read your blog LOL

5. Gemisht - April 3, 2008

Welcome BFFS. I hope that things start to improve for you.

And freaky isn’t it when you “just know” that you have to ring someone. I do it a fair bit with my friends and it freaks them out.

And aint it great when time between phone calls, emails or whatever doesn’t matter – you just pick up where you left off.

Maybe BFFS needs to get a new battery for her phone – one with more staying power.

6. scrappydo - April 3, 2008

It is an awesome thing to have a friend where time and place dilate and it doesn’t matter how long it’s been between drinks. And it sounds like she has an awesome friend in you – she’s been going through the wringer by the looks of it. Hope things look up for her.

7. Dorothy Stahlnecker - April 3, 2008

What a wonderful window into a friendship that is destined to remain for life. Even before you understood the depth of your heart and that friends sometimes pass in the clouds and when the chips are down, remain constant if needed. I wish you and your friend a window of time needed to mend each others unspoken thoughts. My prayers are with you both. Your friendship to each other may prove to be a beacon of light when each of you need to see it.

Dorothy from grammology
remember to call gram

8. planningqueen - April 4, 2008

I too have a BFFS who is also going through a terrible time. I L’s days brighten soon.

9. anonymum - April 4, 2008

Friendship is an amazing thing…a real one isn’t subject to time in any way is it? It endures regardless…

10. Tracey - April 4, 2008

You have to love the BFFS. I’m having dinner with mine on Monday night and I can’t wait. I haven’t seen her since before Christmas. Actually, seeing her again so soon is quite a miracle!!

11. Anja - April 5, 2008

Life hasn’t been too kind to L of late. ‘Tis good that she has you, B. For those times when you just have to pour it all out.

Sorry comments are closed for this entry

%d bloggers like this: