jump to navigation

Mum’s Birthday. March 30, 2008

Posted by Mistress B in Birthdays, Family, Funny Stuff.
Tags: ,

Birthday’s are always an occasion to fuss in my mother’s house. My dad……… well he loves my mum, but despite his degree in engineering, he’s a space cadet a little vague when it comes to some things. There have been times when I was little that my mother’s birthday was completely forgotten. Not good peoples. Not good.

About a month ago I spotted a very basic digital camera on sale for quite a reasonable price that I thought would be ok for mum .So I got in touch with my siblings to see if they wanted to chuck in, then put it on layby.

On Tuesday I was chatting to my mother on the phone (yes we can chat as long as we avoid some topics – like my childhood, my weight, my parenting skills, my marriage, my worth as a daughter) and asked her did she want to come around for tea for her birthday, but perhaps on another night if Dad was taking her out for tea. She tells me to hold on then asks Dad is he’s taking her out for tea on her birthday. I says to Mum ‘ Is he now looking at you like you have two heads and wondering what the hell you are asking him about that for this early in the week?’. She cracks up laughing. I know my father very well.

She eventually decides on Sunday night (tonight) to come for tea. Cos my hubby will be home. My Dad likes my hubby better than any of his actual children and this way he’ll have someone to drink beer with talk to.

Her birthday was on Friday. I rang and wished her a happy birthday in the morning, wanting to avoid blame for ruining another birthday like the dutiful daughter I am. On Friday night, I’m sitting at the pc sticky beaking at all your blogs minding my own business when my mobile phone rings. It’s Dad. He’s lost Mum and do I know where she is? WTF? How on earth do you take someone out for tea and LOSE THEM?

I found out how you do that the next day when I rang to see what had happened. Dad had wanted to go to the club at his normal time (mid-afternoon) and Mum had dropped him off, then she was taking the courtesy bus back down at tea time so that she could have a glass or two of wine cos Dad would be too shitfaced to drive her home so she could drink on her birthday

The bus was held up picking up other people and Dad in his half cut stupour panicked so started ringing all his children thinking something was wrong somewhere.

Can we all say “Beer kills brain cells” people?

Meantime none of the scummy bastards the siblings have coughed up their share of the dough for the present. Not to worry, we’ll just pay for it all ourselves and I’ll stuff them around in return later remember not to count on the irresponsible asshats them in the future. πŸ™‚

Today I have spent being stuffed around helping at a function. I’m stuffed. The house is a mess, the love slave is not home yet, the spawn children are fighting over the nintendo, I have no cake made and am expecting parents in 2 hours.

But never fear.

I’m will not be the daughter who ruined the birthday this year.

We shall BBQ. Outside. Where you can’t see the mess.

Oh yes. The cake. Well it’s like this………….
I have a chocolate cake packet mix and I’m not afraid to use it! πŸ˜‰

Edit The birthday dinner got canned. The skank whore in law had an ultrasound on Wednesday that showed something seriously wrong but not wanting to risk being told to make other arrangements, she waited till today to need ”emergency” surgery and got someone from church to dump the kids at mum’s. Sigh. Will the drama never end?

Second Edit. While breaking into the house with the kids to get their clothes and school gear for tomorrow, Mum found the remains of birthday cake that the kids say was for the scumbag exbf. This is the bloke that used to smack their mother around in front of them and terrify them. This is the bloke that she reckons beat and raped her last year that she took out an AVO on and she’s put off having surgery to throw him a nice cosy family birthday party.Β  Unbefuckinglievable!!



1. Anja - March 30, 2008

Ain’t families a farkin’ peach?

Geez, B. Why the hell do we bother? *sigh*

So what’s wrong with packet cake? It’s chocolate, all’s good.

2. widdleshamrock - March 30, 2008

**mutters** Mr Shamrock has a degree in engineering. Mr Shamrock barely remembers HIS birthday, let alone anyone else’s.

Hope you have a nice evening and don’t pay the price too much tomorrow.

3. Gemisht - March 30, 2008

Have a great night πŸ™‚

Is there something other than a packet cake????? I thought cakes not out of a packet had become extinct or something. LOL

And I lurve the BBQ – we use ours probably 4 or 5 nights a week. Even in winter.

4. anonymum - March 30, 2008

packet mix is good! no measuring or weighing, just add, mix and bake…it all takes effort and besides, it’s the thought that counts isn’t it?

5. scrappydo - March 30, 2008

Packet Mix……. goooooooood!
Happy Birthday to ya mum – and have fun with the siblings…. dear loves that they are πŸ˜‰

6. Bettina - March 30, 2008

the siblings weren’t invited Scrappy πŸ˜‰ I may be many things but silly ain’t one of them lol

7. widdleshamrock - March 31, 2008

Big big hugs B !!!!!!!!

8. Bettina - March 31, 2008

I’m ok darl. I don’t need comforting over this truly.

I’m still shaking my head over the stupidity of it all!

9. Marita - March 31, 2008

families, they are so very confusing.

10. jeanie - March 31, 2008

read this last night and didn’t have a chance to comfort, so came back and saw the edits today.

geez, louise – there are certain people in the world who invite drama, and there are those who make life revolve around them in such a way they ARE the drama.

Such a pity that you are inadvertently associated with that particular queen.

11. jeanie - March 31, 2008

lol at my freudian slip – I meant chance to comment, but comfort will do if you want!

12. Bettina - March 31, 2008

Marita, I don’t find this one confusing at all. She needs putting down. Problem solved πŸ˜‰

lol Jeanie. Either is good!

13. scrappydo - March 31, 2008

Not inviting siblings is a great move! πŸ™‚

And yeah that sure is drama there. With family like that, you won’t need to watch TV that often :rollL:

14. Jayne - March 31, 2008

It never rains but it pours!
Bloody hell, I hope you enjoyed the cake mix all to yourself Bettina, you deserve it!

15. Bettina - March 31, 2008

Scrappydo – We are seriously considering selling our family story to a soapie – we reckon we’ll make millions! This is as weird as anything you’d see on B & B or Days

Jayne – yeah I know. Cake is good. πŸ˜‰

16. Bettina - March 31, 2008

oh and just to update, Mum has spent the morning out of the house so that the SWIL can’t ring her to try to get her to drive over to pick her up (she’s in hospital over 100kms away).

17. Erin! - March 31, 2008

Well at least your mother is sensible enough to be avoiding the phone today. Bugger driving that far to pick her up when she knowingly left it that long and got someone else to dump her kids on your mother, without notice i assume.

Oh and considering you paid the siblings parts of the camera, give it to your mother, solely from you, no siblings on the card, as part birthday, part mothers day and part christmas. Tell her she can have it in one go for all three days or you can deliver one bit per day and she can reassemble later (could do the box and packaging for birthday, the cords, manuals etc for mothers day and then the camera at christmas!).

18. Tiffany - March 31, 2008

Families are weird…that’s all I have to say about that.

19. Tracey - March 31, 2008

I’m sorry. Next time, could you please make that into a few separate posts? My tiny brain just can’t handle that much information!!!!

Seriously, are you ok? There are some seriously disturbing people in the world. I’m glad to know I’m not alone πŸ™‚

20. magneto bold too - March 31, 2008

C’mon, at least it is good blog fodder!


21. Jayne - March 31, 2008

I love Erin’s suggestion and I agree with Kelley – it feels good, like scratching that mozzie bite you know you shouldn’t but at the time It.Just.Feels.Perfect
Especially if you’ve managed to slam the SWIL bastard mozzie into insect squish πŸ˜‰

22. Dorothy Stahlnecker - April 3, 2008

wow, and now I know what real family problems are….

Best of luck to you and your sanity..

Dorothy from grammology
remember to call gram

23. Screw Up Tuesday « Dances to the beet of her own drum - May 6, 2008

[…] was telling a girlfriend about how the SWIL nearly killed herself to entertain a male friend after finding out her pregnancy was ectopic, the same male friend who […]

24. Round and round we go « Dances to the beet of her own drum - June 13, 2008

[…] my last update on the skank ass whore in law (SWIL for short) where I revealed that she had been rushed to surgery for eptopic pregnancy after putting off going to hospital to throw her violent scum bag ex b/f a birthday […]

Sorry comments are closed for this entry

%d bloggers like this: