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A Hard Truth January 28, 2008

Posted by Mistress B in Funny Stuff, Hubby, Marriage, My Brigade, Relationships.
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My husband came home from the station tonight with smoke coming out his ears. When I finally got him to stop sputtering and ranting, it turned out that he felt like he had been had a go at by the captain for giving out orders when it wasn’t his place to do so. He felt that he hadn’t been doing any such thing, but had been merely trying to step up as a senior member to support the captain in getting things running smoothly again.

I rang the president to get an independent opinion on what happened. She tells me that the Captain was trying to explain to hubby that he needs to ask people to do tasks not tell them.

I know exactly what she meant.  And when he calmed down I told him a hard truth.

He is a bossy boots.

He doesn’t mean to be. He doesn’t try to be. He just gets caught up in what he’s doing and if you aren’t sure what you should be doing, he’ll tell you. Or just do it for you without explaining what/how/why he is doing.  He forgets to phrase his instructions as requests. He doesn’t say “please”. He forgets that not everyone  has his knowledge or experience and might need some coaxing, encouragement or some kind of explanation.

This is something that can be off-putting to others, even a little intimidating to newer members.

He’s not like that when he’s instructing though. When he’s instructing he asks questions, provides explanations, remembers to hang back and let people work things out for themselves. He still doesn’t say “please” but he phrases himself much better.

He needs to flick that switch in his head and put himself in instructor mode every time he goes near the station.

He didn’t like hearing that. Nobody likes hearing hard truths about themselves though. And he’s a bit mystified cos he genuinely doesn’t think he is a bossy boots.

So just to prove my point, when he started bossing me in the kitchen, I just stood still and gave him “a look”. He said “please”. I smiled and did as he asked. He then said “Oh shit! Now you’re going to make me say please all the time aren’t you?”. I smiled and nodded again. Damn straight I am!!

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Comments

1. Jayne - January 28, 2008

The Spouse is the same here, snapping out orders like a drill sergeant when his brain’s working on 101 other things.
LMFAO I do “the look” to make mine remember “please”, too …or give him The Finger 😉

2. Guera - January 29, 2008

Husbands and children – they are all the same aren’t they? I give “the look” to both Guerita and Rocky!

3. Casdok - January 29, 2008

The look!
Lol!!

4. dancingwithfrogs - January 29, 2008

It’s good that he’s trainable. This was something that my ex husband did, and was one of the reasons why I can refer to him as an ‘ex’ husband.

5. Anja - January 29, 2008

I would just loooooooooooooove to see that look. If I try anything like that, “The Bunny” says, “whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?”

*slaps head with hand*

6. Tiffany - January 29, 2008

LOL, I know that look, I think I invented it. Either that or I inhereted it from my mother

7. jeanie - January 29, 2008

ha ha – I just pretend deafness unless that word comes out. My father had a habit of requesting things in a roundabout manner, and I have trained myself out of that – therefore ANYONE can change and learn!

8. widdleshamrock - January 29, 2008

You’ve been tagged. See my site for details.

9. boneblower - January 29, 2008

The look? I’m the only female in my house and ‘The Look’ works….60% of the time. Maybe I need more practice lol 🙂

10. anonymum - January 30, 2008

mine comes home like that and i “gently” remind him he may be a big wig at work, but at home he’s just my husband, i don’t give a damn how bad his day was, i didn’t make it shitty and suggest he rearrange his attitude…and i say it all with a smile on my face…the smile doesn’t extend to my eyes though, so he picks up on the problem pretty quick…iperchance that doesn’t work he gets the death look and asked if sir {hear the sacasm?} would like his dinner on a plate or his effing head! that always works
😆


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