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Drama Thursday October 11, 2007

Posted by Mistress B in Family.
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I’m feeling like I’m a bit of a drama queen at the moment, but I don’t mean to be. Honest I don’t. Things just seem to be happening around me lately………. Sigh.

This time it’s my own family’s turn to exhibit their dysfunctionality.

Today my brother J picked an argument with my mother. When she drove off on him before he’d finished his rant, he decided to follow her home. Luckily that wasn’t where she actually went, because he had a little tantrum and trashed the house. God only knows what he would have done had he been able to find her. He then took his rage for a drive around town and caused some havoc elsewhere as well.

My brother is a drug addict. At the moment he’s using and at the mercy of his addiction. Most likely a combination of marijuana and amphetamines or possibly heroin. He’s also mentally ill. So the drugs transform his normal quirky behaviour, quick temper and secretiveness into full blown conspiracy theories, rages and paranoia. The police were talking about having him scheduled (committed to a mental ward for evaluation) tomorrow if he isn’t acting a bit more rationally in the morning. I hope they do. I hope he gets some help this time for his head space and not just his addiction.

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Comments

1. Kin - October 11, 2007

I really hope he gets the help he needs! It must be awful watching family go through that. And thank goodness your Mum’s ok.

Big hugs!

2. Precious_1 - October 11, 2007

Thanks Kin, its not easy to watch a family member self destruct like this, especially for my parents to when its their child.

3. lightening - October 12, 2007

(((HUGS))) Families can be really tough.

4. Precious_1 - October 13, 2007

which is why most of ours don’t know where we live! lol!

This year has seemed like a bit of a competition at times about whose family is more dysfunctional……. mine or his – they are about neck and neck at the moment

*shakes head*

5. Erin! - October 13, 2007

Hugs Precious, we went through similar with my Ex’s brother. It didnt end well, and he didnt see his 30th birthday and he only knew he had one nephew as DD was 2 years away at that point in time. I do sincerely hope you can get your brother help and get it through to him that he will never be cured.

My kids uncle was clean for at least 6 months before he died, but once an addict always an addict (although there was mitigating circumstances and a lot of them are still unknowns as his father and brother didnt want to know, very sad really).

So huge hugs for you, i know what the paranoia is like, I had to give him a lift several times when pregnant with DS and I was terrified, he would insist cars were following us, insist our phones were bugged, everyone was a threat to him and for me that ended up being too much, i couldnt cope with him, i was too scared he would decide i was a threat and by that stage i was so huge and lethargic with the pregnancy that i had no way to defend myself from anything.

My current partners family is dysfuctional as well, hehe try having mother-in-law live across the road from you, most of the time she is ok, but on occasion arrggghh. Like when she gets so drunk she locks herself out of her house at 3am and stumbles over here expecting DBF to come break in for her. See even though he officially lives there, she is so paranoid she wont let him have his own key.

Families arrgghh.

6. Precious_1 - October 14, 2007

lol Erin at you DBF not having a key! I told mum that story and she cracked up!

I think that my brother is quite probably schizoprenic. His symptoms are just too similar to my ex’s from when he was pre-psychosis. The only real difference being that my ex for the main part was just plain weird and only scary someof the time, but my bro is pretty scary most of the time.

Oh well – just so long as my bro doesn’t ring me after getting locked up to tell me that he’s an archangel sent to unite the religions of the world like my ex did, I’ll be happy!…… oh wait!! He can’t!! He doesn’t know where I live either!! lmao

Seriously…. you have to laugh at it. It’s too damn serious not to.

7. Erin! - October 14, 2007

Yep Precious, Ex’s brother I believe he was BiPolar before the drugs and self medicating to feel better. One of my neighbours is schizophrenic and self medicates with alcohol and other stuff too.

I had the unfortunate experience of visiting ex’s brother in grafton jail (with my ex) whilst 8 3/4 months pregnant, in 42 degree heat and the guards did a full body search cause i was more likely to be hiding something simply because i was pregnant (apparently pretending to be pregnant is a common way of smuggling drugs in). I was rather cranky about that because if i wanted to give him drugs all i had to do was pay the $300 bail and he could have been let out, he was in there 3 months, simply because noone would pay the bail money for him (he attacked his 76 year old father with a samurai sword during one of the rages, cause he believed his father to be a government spy, so no family member was willing to take responsibility for him at the time).

I do feel sorry for him though, if his family would have taken the time to get his mental status checked (he was in the top 2% of NSW HSC results for every single subject he took, walked into a management level position straight out of highschool but couldnt cope with it and basically lost it from there) he might have had a much better life and still be alive.

He had his nice moments, 6 months after the jail incident my ex and i bought this house and it was left to me (with 5 month old baby who spent all day doing a fifteen minute cycle of feed for 5, scream for 5, spew and then sleep for 5) to clean the house up, patch all the holes, paint walls ceilings trims and organise carpeting etc. my ex’s brother was THE ONLY PERSON who ever came and helped, he cleaned all the windows in the house for me, which sounds easy but they were almost an inch thick in black mold and dust on the inside and just as thick with dust that had gotten rained on then caked hard on the outside.

He was also the only one other than my ex, who gave me a birthday present for my 18th and it was a really thoughtful one too, he got me the Corrs first album on cd, because he knew i played the violin and that the first song had my name in it, I still have that cd too. Ex’s family really wasnt a nice family, its not surprising really that my ex and his brother were so f’d up.

8. Erin! - October 14, 2007

Oh Yeah, lol the not having a key, arrgghh. When he broke his ankle, she managed to lock herself out or have her 18 yr old son lock her out (she is very argumentative when drunk, likes to bully everyone and be in their face, which doesnt go down well with the 18 yr old), so she had to come over here and demand DBF go help her get back in, which involved her making DBF climb through a window with a broken ankle.

Trust me when i say it makes no sense at all why he cant have his own key.

Oh and lol the 18 yr olds girlfriend just moved herself in to the house, didnt ask DBF mother and told centrelink that was her new address. She is currently in the process of moving all her stuff in there, is funny because DBF mother is really cheap (not frugal just cheap! because all her money goes on alcohol and cigarettes) and the girlfriends stuff appearing in the bathroom and kitchen etc and taking over every space, lol its just funny. DBF comes here and says “you should come see the bathroom with all of R’s stuff in it, makes mums look so nasty and cheap”.

Hehe for him to notice these things is seriously funny to me, see he never noticed before, he was immune to it all, but now he can’t stand being there when she is home cause she chain smokes and she bullies him (because unlike the 18 yr old, DBF won’t hit a female, so the most he will do is push her out of his way while escaping the room).

I am so looking forward to earning an income so that I can afford for him to move in here properly and permanently, I just need to finish this degree, so another 2 years yet arrgghh. As soon as that is finished, we are out of here, away from DBF mother, away from my ex (who live around the corner).

Oh and best of all, once i am earning a wage, goodbye to centrelink, who while helpful, is the bain of my existance. Not only am I supposed to count how many nights DBF stays here and report it once a year (pmsl i do not count, i have enough trouble remembering what day it is some days i have that much on my plate already) but one representative actually had the hide to ask me how many times a week we have sex, because in “her” opinion, that would count towards him having to financially support me (and he was on a student wage of $200 a week at that stage, couldnt support himself let alone me and two kids).

Right well i have totally gotten off track there lol. Might go to bed now seeing as I have to be awake again soon.

Hugs!


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