Dances to the beet of her own drum

Mum tells me that the SWIL turned up this afternoon a little while after school let out.

Wanted to know if her kids were at Mum’s house.

‘Why? Have you lost them?’ Mum says as if she completely expected such a thing.

BAAAAHAAAHAAAAA!!!!

BAAAHAAAHAAAAAA!!!

‘I couldn’t help myself’ she said to me. ‘It just came out before I could stop myself’.

BAAAHAAAHAAAAA!!

The kids were dawdling in the loo’s after school

Probably selling dope they stole from their mother so they can buy new clothes for winter or something seeing as how she doesn’t seem inclined to clothe them properly lately.

But SWIL thought she’d lost them and Mum called her on it.

My mother, the snarky biatch owned her!

and now you know where I get it from lmao

Welcome once again to Screw Up Tuesday. Or as Anonymum called it last week, my fuck up fest!

Let us start with last Thursday when we had to chase people up to help with erecting the tent at Driver Reviver. Everyone thought it was Friday that the tent needed to go up. Well, I guess on any given normal long weekend it would be, but given that Friday was the actual public holiday not MOnday, the damn tent needed to be up Thursday.

And our shift was Thursday night going into Friday morning and not Friday night going into Saturday morning as everyone thought.

But that’s OK. A few phone calls and explanations later and we were all sorted. Until Sunday. When those people meant to be taking the tent back down wanted to argue that it didn’t come down till Monday. Where is the common sense people????? No really. I’m serious. I’d really like to know!

And D. One of the stalwarts of our brigade argued with me on Thursday afternoon that the end of season meeting was to start at 6pm instead of the usual 7:30. So I ring Firecom to check only to be met with confusion (well nothing unusual there *snigger*) and a request for the exact wording of the message saying 6pm start. I’ve gotten hold of D’s pager by then and couldn’t find the message, told Firecom not to worry and went back outside to ask D where this mysterious message was. He flicks through the messages, finds one and  shows it to me. He was reading the time the message was sent and taking that as the meeting time. Sigh. Note to brigade members - make sure that you know how to read your damn pagers before using them as evidence to argue with the secretary!

Oh and my favourite……….. The white shirted hero’s meant to be running the aforementioned meeting left work, drove for an hour to get over here for the meeting and forgot their key to the station. I did receive the most interesting phone call that night asking for favours after calling me all sorts of wonderful, flattering endearments.  My love slave was beginning to wonder who on earth I was talking to with all the ’sweetie, honey, darling’ crap going on until I hung up the phone and dissolved into fits of laughter after telling him that they forgot to bring a key.

But the love slave was not to be left out this week either. After spending 3 days trying to discuss a fire extinguisher demonstration at a community event we were going to be attending on Saturday he remembered the fire extinguishers, but not the tray or fuel to make a small contained fire in to use the fire extinguishers on. In the end we sent him back into town to get them.

In guest screw ups,   the electrician who was checking and tagging all appliances at the kids school didn’t plug the school canteen freezer back in properly. This particular screw up wasn’t discovered till days later by which time the fish in particular was quite on the nose. EWWWWWW

So, there you have it. A fantastic week of spectacular screw ups, fabulous fuck ups and just plain ol’ bad luck. To join in our feast of idiot moments just leave a comment with a link back to your own post so we can all come visit you, sympathise and laugh our arses off.

A girlfriend of mine is organising a birthday party for her MIL. They are putting together a THIS IS YOUR LIFE… party and inviting a couple of hundred people.

So she is trying to think of reflective life songs to use on the DVD that they are making of her MIL’s life…She has asked me for suggestions so I figured with you my lovely internets all being so knowledgeable, that you may be able to give me some suggestions to pass along……….

So. Suggestions anyone?

Chewing a bone under the trampoline after a hard day spent following & barking at the kids, gazing wistfully at the rabbit and half heartedly chasing the cats.

What could be more smiley than this?

First cross your eyes………………..

Surprise  your sister by making her pose with ‘Honey’ the bear……………..

Then put on your bestest most innocentest face………..

So that you can sneakily give your sister some bunny ears………………

Voila! Funny pictures!

Head on over to Lightening’s for more Smiley Saturday moments.

My theme is fixed!!

doing a little happy dance!

They shall grow not old,
As we that are left grow old,
Age shall not weary them,
Nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun,
And in the morning
We will remember them.

Lest we Forget

After the drooling smashing success of last week’s Hot Hunk Thursday, it simply must be a repeat event!

Last week hubby took one look at this

and wanted to know what on earth I was up to. He then offered to pose but upon me whipping out the camera, I was met with only this

So I guess I have little choice but to show another of the firefighters from the calender’s worth that we received till my own personal fire fighter decides that he has overcome his fear of the camera

Are you ready to move to Houston with us yet?

Edit - And this is Scrappydo’s pick for the week………..

‘Hot because it would seem he knows how to handle his……. bow LOL’

Head on over to Widdle Shamrock’s for more Hot Hunk Thursday hunks, spunks, chunks and laughter!

I was having a discussion with TJ about different places that I’ve lived in my life.

TJ - ‘Did you have a house in QLD Mum?’

Me - ‘ yup’

TJ - ‘ Was it like this one? A normal house?’

Me -  ‘Yup, just a normal house, but not quite as big as this one.’ (while wondering what the hell his idea of normal is)

TJ - ‘ but it was still a house right?’

Me - ” yup’

TJ - ‘ Cos they wouldn’t have had flats there back then would they Mum?’

Me - (stunned silence as a contemplate just how old my son thinks I am…………….. )

Time to hear your weekly screw ups peoples! Mine over the past week have been pretty great.

Wednesday we had Miss Loo dropping her phone outside the Optometrist’s, a minor a screw up in itself, but the PSLS added that little something ‘extra’ that made it spectacular. The person who found her phone rang at 7:15 Thursday morning to let us know that they had found the phone. Hubby answered their call, found out that the people who had found it were in RXX Rd and went around to get the phone. I was wondering as he drove away how he was going to find them given that he didn’t find out where exactly in RXX Rd they were. Next thing I know I’m getting phone calls from him asking me to ring the people back to find out what number they are at. No problem says I while a giggle my arse off at him.

Me? I gave myself a black eye. The girls were mucking around on Tuesday night and CJ is yelling out “help, HELP!” so i figured the best way to help was to jump on the pair of them, but CJ moved in the wrong direction and we bumped heads. Well her head bumped my face anyhow. Fuck it hurt. So I’m sitting around that night watching Ramsey’s Kitchen Nightmares with an ice pack on my face and a hot pack on my hip.

Then I was caught out leaving comments on various people’s blogs without realising that TJ had signed me out and had left himself signed in. One of the comments I left as TJ was at Naomi’s blog referring to my hysterectomy. Luckily I have peeps to point out to me when I stuff up like that! LOL

Sunday I was watering in my newly planted strawberry patch when the PSLS walked past and I flicked the hose at him. I didn’t mean to get him cos he HATES being wet with the hose/waterbombs/water pistols/etc , but get him I did. Straight across his backside. Nearly got myself drenched for that, but oh was it good. I laughed till I cried.

Last night was a good one though. Yesterday was sheet washing day. Admittedly I was distracted by a visitor yesterday and didn’t get the kids sheets hung out. I was simply going to then chuck them in the dryer when I went to training last night so they’d be dry when we got home. I forgot. Again. So we get home from training at 10 pm to wet sheets. The kids didn’t mind though - they got to camp out on the sofa with a dvd and popcorn.

So lets have them. Your screw ups for the week.

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