Dances to the beet of her own drum

After nearly 30 years of abuse, my mother in law has finally left my her partner.

On Monday night she refused to sign yet another credit card application so that he would have money to go overseas to meet his Philippino mail order bride. (Not that he’d ever admit that’s what she is, but we’ve SEEN the emails!) He went apeshit. Smashed up the kitchen, threw glasses at her and W and threatened to kill her.

The cops were called and he took off. An AVO has been taken out and the police made him cancel his travel plans. He was meant to be flying out in a fortnights time you see. So, no money, no nookey, trouble with the cops and more tantrums.

All of this culminated yesterday with W (eldest son) organising alternative housing and D (youngest son) organising manpower and trucks to move them with. They were unpacked in the new house by tea time last night leaving him with only a bed, a fridge, one telly and kitchen gear for one.

So he gets home late yesterday afternoon, finds the house cleaned out and rings her to say “I’m sorry, I don’t want you to leave, I didn’t mean for any of this to happen, I just wanted the children gone” He wants her to kick out her two children who are at home and not have any contact with the 3 that aren’t. Fair enough to kick the two out of home on the surface, they are adults after all……. but this isn’t about them sponging, this is about him being terrified that one of the no longer intimidated by him children will start to influence her away from under his control.

This may be it. I’m hoping this is it. I’m praying this is it. But at the same time I have to advise hubby and his siblings to be cautious too. They are desperate for their mother to get away from their stepfather/father, but are looking at this only through the eyes of the child of a battered woman. They don’t understand why she stayed so long. They don’t understand why she was so desperate to hang onto her house. They don’t understand that after having her identity slowly but surely stripped from her that house is the only solid thing left that defines her. They don’t understand that she has been manipulated by this man for nearly 30 years and is still vulnerable to him. They don’t understand that battered women often go back and sometimes need a few trial runs before they actually go and stay gone. They don’t understand that they can’t make decisions for her right now, no matter how screwed up her thinking because until she owns the final decision to leave that it will never really be over.

I wouldn’t wish what I went through with my ex on my worst enemy, but ……….. how do I put this?……… if some good is to come from the hell I went through, I’m glad it is this, that I can support my husband through this and hopefully help him and his siblings understand a little of what their mother is going through.

My pelvis finally decided to unlock and I now have movement. And not a moment too bloody soon either. I shuffled into the kitchen late last night to get a drink only to discover that my kitchen is trashed!! There are bowls and saucepans sitting out from SATURDAY! My nice pretty water glasses are smashed as things have just been dumped in the sink on top of them and I won’t even try to guess what all the food was clogging up the sink. Apparently we only scrape plates in this house if I am actually watching!! I was ropeable! Will still need to rest up and be careful for a few days, but the pain is GREATLY reduced already and I seriously need to be able to do some bits and pieces around here.

I also had to go to the doctor’s to get some scripts refilled today. Turned out it was quite lucky cos I had CJ up till 4 this morning with a fever, headache and sore throat. Gave me a bit of a fright. She hasn’t been that sick since she was a tot. The doc confirmed my guess, just a virus, not much to be done except paracetamol and rest. We had just made it out of the chemist from replenishing our supplies when TJ got flushed and grumpy. He was home from school too as he had a headache last night and I thought a day at home might help him kick whatever was making him off. Looks like he’s got the same bug.

So……… we made one last pit stop at Woolies for lemonade and a new dvd, and the kids are now both settled in the living room watching ‘The Rise Of The Silver Surfer’.

I’m hoping that they might have a nap. I could sure use one!

hubby gets up and wanders out the back to have a ciggie then checks on TJ getting ready for school (yes wearing my dressing gown) when CJ, who is not feeling well, comes into the room, jumps in hubby’s side of the bed and snuggles in for the morning.

Needless to say hubby was less than impressed. I told him that he’d obviously forgotten the 15 minute rule - if you are out of bed for more than 15 minutes you are up and forfeit all bed rights.

So he starts mucking around walking in and out of the bedroom growling at the bednapper daughter. At one stage he comes running in the with insect spray yelling about a cockroach being in the bed. I tell him its a pink cockroach in its dressing gown. She informs me that she’s a breast cancer cockroach!

He give up after that! LMAO

TJ decided tonight that he wanted his eggs “messy”. In TJ’s language that means scrambled.

I explained to him that he had to simply crack two eggs into the frying pan, then keep stirring them while they cooked. He asked if he then had to put them in a bowl to “smoosh them up” . I explained that no, the stirring while cooking would do that for him. So off he goes to cook his eggs under his sisters supervision.

Except that he wouldn’t let her supervise! So every couple of minutes he was in and out of my bedroom (still stuck) asking me were his eggs cooked enough yet. Mind you he was bringing the frying pan, the egg flip and the egg rings with him every trip. Not sure why we needed the egg rings, but they make great bracelets!

Hubby has not long gotten home and asked me about the mess in the frying pan. Quite frankly, I told him, I’m surprised there isn’t egg from one end of the house to the other!

It’s that time of the week again……… sigh……….

No I can do this. I. Can. Do. My. Menu. Plan.

lol

Seriously

Monday - Eggs on Toast

Tuesday - Hawaiian Pizza!
Baking - pikelets

Wednesday - Shepard’s Pie and Salad

Thursday - Steak & sweet potato salad
Baking - Cinamon Tea Cake

Friday - Fish and Chips

Saturday - Snags and Mash with veges
Baking - Chocolate Slice

Sunday - Rissoles, potato wedges and veges

Cinamon Tea Cake

60g Butter or Margarine
1 Teaspoon of Vanilla Essence
1/2 Cup Castor Sugar
1 Cup of Self Raising Flour
1/3 cup of Milk
1 Egg
1 teaspoon melted butter
Cinamon Sugar to taste

Soften butter/margarine and beat into castor sugar. Add vanilla essence and egg and beat well. Alternate adding portions of milk and flour, beat until smooth. Pour into small round cake tin or loaf tin and bake in moderate oven for 25 - 30 minutes.

After turning out from tin, brush melted butter across top of cake and sprinkle with cinamon sugar. Let cool and enjoy!

Head over to Laura’s for more menu planning inspiration!

God have mercy on my soul……… I have 5 giggling gooses of girls gallivanting around my backyard in boxers and singlets with purple and pink glow stick glasses on their faces!

They have stuffed themselves on chips, lollies, sponge cake with jam & cream filling, pikelets, more lollies, hotdogs and hot chips. TJ long ago hit overload as was convinced to go to bed before he had a meltdown. Hubby has been intermittently turning the back lights off and scaring the beejezus out of the girls for his own amusement.

I decided that while I couldn’t exactly do much being stuck in bed that I would make each one a pair of earrings as a take home treat. Of course two of them had to pick out their own designs which has taken the better part of an hour lol These are some of the earrings I made for the girls.

Oh and I heard the most interesting version of “These Boots are made For Walking” the girls were singing it as “these boobs were made for bouncin’ and that’s just what they’ll do, one of these days these boobs are going to bounce all over you” It was pretty much at that point that I decided that perhaps being stuck in bed for the duration of the party wasn’t such a bad thing after all!

Apparently I’ve done the norti thing and mentioned the “c” word…….. Christmas! lol.

I must admit though to freakin myself out a little last night. I was sitting here thinking “well its CJ’s b/day so its only 8 weeks till Christmas” then I thought “oh shit! I’m getting operated on in 4 weeks so need to be ready WAYYYYYY early”

I’ve taken stock today and its not as bad as I first thought.

All of hubby’s and the kids gifts are either ordered through Chrisco/Castle or on layby. I only have one niece, one nephew and parents left to acquire gifts for. One set of grandparents disapprove of us spending money on them and the kids are capable (with minimum supervision) of making chocolates and I can give CJ a small embroidered banner to make without much difficulty. The two sets of grandparents on hubby’s side only ever get photo’s from us so I just have to pick some and get nice prints made up. My parents…….. well……… I’ll think of something I”m sure! lol A voucher from the local second hand book shop for my dad and something crafty for mum. As long as I’ve figured out what I’m making before my op, I’ll be able to get it done while I”m resting up after.

The tree we usually put up the first weekend in December. Given that my op is a few days before we’ll just put it up a week early. I’m also going to drag out my boxes of stuff so I can figure out where I want things to go. I figure that sitting in bed giving orders to others about where I want things still counts as resting! lol

I just need to make a plan so that all the big jobs are taken care of before my op or by someone else. As long as I get some kind of plan together I think it should all be pretty smoothly.

IT IS ONLY TWO MONTHS TO CHRISTMAS!!

CRAP!!!

I need to get organised. Double Crap!

Time to take inventory and make some lists

Its your birthday, its your birthday and we want to say, many happy, many happy, returns of the day.

Well that’s the birthday sone they sing at school.

I had to laugh, CJ came complaining that some of the boys in her class were cranky at her for not bringing in birthday cake to share…. I would’ve thought they’d be getting a bit past that by their age! lol 10 & 11 year old boys are funny creatures

Part of her present was a Pandora’s Charm Bracelet. She REALLY likes it. I’m so pleased! Now if I can just con DHubby (non affectionate form today) into buying one for me for Christmas I’ll be a happy chicky!

We had a pretty good afternoon despite my being sore and laid up again. Mud cake makes everything better. I’m managing to move a little today, so we aren’t postponing her party. We will be doing easy party food like party pies, sausage rolls, cocktail frankfurts etc though to keep it simple and easy. She is having 4 friends for a sleepover in a tent in the backyard. I figure if they are outside there is less chance of my hearing them giggling all night! lol

Yeah yeah, I know its not Monday and this should’ve been posted days ago! Bite me!

Monday - Spag Bol

Tuesday - Snags and homemade chips

Wednesday - Roast Chook and vege

Thursday - Snags and something or other

Friday - Rissoles and Vege

Saturday - Party food

Sunday - More Rissoles and vege

Dunno what I did to myself the other day, but I’m back in bed again. Sigh. AND to add insult to injury my shirt slipped up giving me too much heat from the hot water bottle so now I have blisters as well.

Last night about midnight, I was hoping to be able to get myself a glass of freakin’ water and ended up stuck in the kitchen, not able to get back to bed, so had to call out to CJ to come help me. Poor girl must’ve been keeping an ear out for me cos she was there in two seconds, helped me back to bed, reheated my hot pack, got me a glass of cold water, tucked me in and went back to bed. She had bags the size of tasmania under her eyes this morning, so stayed home from school and bummed around with me watching dvd’s all day. This child is a legend! She absolutely rocks!

S0 this weeks menu is all stuff that the kids can cook themselves if need be. I just hope I’m back on my feet by sat for CJ’s party, but if I’m not, we have a plan B to have it next w/e instead and she’s not upset at the idea at all. God luv her!